


Heart Pain

by deeblink



Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-01
Updated: 2012-11-01
Packaged: 2017-11-17 13:40:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/552158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deeblink/pseuds/deeblink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gil 's heart can't stand the pressure of his unrequited love for Nick Stokes.  He gets sick and Nick takes over...  Just a bit of AU fluff!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heart Pain

Heart Pain

Part One

Three bodies had been found together on the rim of the Grand Canyon and Gil, Catherine and Warrick had been processing the scene through most of the night. Now as the dawn brought the sunrise over the canyon Gil walked to the edge of the ridge where they’d been working to view the spectacle. It was truly glorious.

He heaved a huge sigh as he watched the sunrise; the colours of the sky and rocks, changing slightly each moment as he looked. He hugged himself and rubbed his arms and despite the beauty he was witnessing he looked morose.

“You sound…and look like you’ve got the worries of the world on your shoulders.” Catherine’s voice was quite soft and had an element of concern in it…not her usual strident approach.

“No, I’m okay.” But he sighed again after he’d spoken the words.

“Sounds like it.”

They were both quiet as they watched the gradual ascent of the sun and the incredible hues of the rock beneath them.

“Catherine?”

She raised her eyebrows at him in response.

“Catherine; does love hurt…I mean physically hurt…like a chest pain?”

“Well…I really don’t know about that…why, are you experiencing chest pain? No wait, missed opportunity here…are you ‘in love’?”

“Thanks for your concern…gossip beats health issues every time. I do have a strange sensation in my chest; I could hardly call it bad physical pain though…more of a sensation and I’ve noticed that it comes on only when I have time to think about it.”

“Right. My advice to you would be this – get yourself checked out…you can’t be too careful at your age…what….it’s the truth.” She smiled at his raised eyebrows. “The ‘love’ issue Gil? If you want my advice you’re going to have to give up some details.”

Gil’s thought at the age comment only served to make him more miserable. “Truth be told Cath? I have nothing to tell. I have feelings for someone and I haven’t…”

“…oh, for God’s sake Gil Grissom, you haven’t told her have you?”

“No...no…but it’s more complicated than that.”

“No, Gil, you make it complicated. Is she unattainable? Is she married, not that it seems to matter these days?”

“It’s more complicated.”

“How?”

Gil turned to look at the sunrise and sighed yet again.

“I swear you’re worse than Lindsay with a crush on Justin Timberlake!” Catherine paused and she was overtaken with a rather worrying thought. “It’s not Sara is it?” 

Even the morose Gil managed a flicker of a smile. “No. It isn’t.”

“I can’t help saying that that’s a relief. You‘d have certainly bitten off more than you could chew with that bundle of neuroses.” 

“I…if I tell you something can I be sure you’ll keep it yourself?”

“What are we, kids? Of course you can trust me.”

“It’s a…man…I’m…”

“Oh. My. God! Geez Gil, way to go to…I never knew.”

“Nor me; if you’re shocked how d’you think I feel?”

“You didn’t…you haven’t…this is too much. Come on let me look at what we know. One – you’re in love with a man. Two – you’re not gay or even bi-sexual. Three – is the other man gay, or bi-sexual. Four – why are you holding back – you’re obviously in turmoil. Five – okay I’ve got to throw this one in – do I know him?”

“We’ve got to get back to work.”

“No way, Jose!” Catherine laid a hand on Gil’s arm. “Come on, ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’.”

“I don’t know if I even know the answers. I do know I’ve never felt like this before. I do know that I’ve never considered myself gay or bi-sexual - but there was one time in college. I think he’s straight; no, I know he’s straight. Mind your own business.”

“I do know him then.”

“Catherine, let it go, please. God knows what possessed me to share this with you.”

“Because sharing is good and you must be at the end of your tether or you wouldn’t’ve. I’ll think about this and give you some good advice. After shift. Breakfast – and don’t even think about playing hooky!”

“I’ll try to limit my expectations.”

“You asked me, remember? Now come on, let’s finish up.”

It was after ten when they managed to get to the diner. They ordered breakfast and both sipped juice while they waited for it to arrive.

“My first piece of advice Gil is to get checked out. It probably is some sort of psychosomatic anxiety attack if, as you say, you only get it when you think of…him.”

“I can’t say that isn’t sound advice. I was going to go anyway - I’ll ‘phone for an appointment when I get home. What’s next, Dr Cath?”

“Are you certain the guy is straight? You think he is, but you thought you were and so did I. I know that in our environment it’s probably more sensible to hide any…leanings…in that direction, since PDs generally are not renowned for being gay friendly.” At Gil’s pained look she continued, “But, Gil, times change and there’s a group called GALA…I think, or something like that in Vegas PD, sooo…”

“…I’m not ashamed of these feelings, not at all Catherine. I’m old enough to take care of myself…but how do you approach a man? I hardly know how to approach a woman Catherine, let alone another man…but there’s some stuff I haven’t told you.”

“Go on then because I haven’t finished with you either.” She smirked.

“He’s…oh god…he’s younger than me…a lot…”

“Okay…come on you’re doing good here…how much younger?”

“Fifteen years.”

“That’s nothing Gil…”

“…it’s the difference between brown hair and grey hair, the difference between wearing glasses and not, between going out and staying in, reading a book…Catherine this is ridiculous, it’s not going to happen. I’ve got to put up and shut up, I’ll get over it.

“Gil Grissom; you’re fifty for god’s sake not ninety, you sound like an old man…you’re as old as the man you feel! Jeez Gil. If this was a problem at work with some evidence or other, you’d be like a dog with a bone but this is your LIFE and you’re willing to just give in and throw it away without even testing the waters. Answer me this; if you give in now and then say ten years from now find out that he IS gay and you WOULD have stood a chance how would you feel then…that you’d wasted an opportunity?

“That’s far too simplistic and you know it.”

“No, it isn’t, actually Gil it really is that simple. If you approach him, ask him, and he says ‘no’, you’ve got your answer and fair enough. But if you do approach him and he says ‘yes’…Gil don‘t do this to yourself…at least find out…you’ve nothing to lose and everything to gain.”

He had no retort this time and their breakfasts arrived anyway. Gil didn’t feel much like eating his ‘special’, but he picked up his fork and stabbed at his food. They were silent for a good ten minutes. He had to admit that Catherine had made a very valid point; he was sure HE was straight and had empirical evidence. But then he would have described himself at ‘straight’ until a few months back before this all reared its ugly head. 

“It’s Nick.”

Catherine’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets at this information. This was serious; there was no way that Nick was gay. But then not five hours ago she’d thought exactly the same about Gil.

“You don’t think he’s gay either, do you?”

“Well…that was my immediate thought, I must confess…but Gil, my second thought was that I thought you were straight until this morning.” 

Gil looked up from his unfinished breakfast and had to admit that Catherine was right. He wasn’t a coward – he’d do this - he’d got nothing to lose, only his job and he could get another one anywhere, he knew that.

“How am I going to ask him Catherine? ‘Oh, by the way Nick are you a homosexual and if you are would you care to…’?”

“…you’re going to do it?”

“I’m going to do it.”

“Good for you – we need a plan. Blunt might work, failing everything else…but I think you’ll have to more gentle with Nick. He’s actually a really nice boy…I see what you mean about the age thing. I know he’s in his mid thirties but I do think of him as younger. Anyway, where was I…oh, yes, out of work obviously, maybe breakfast alone…to discuss an ‘issue’…he’ll assume it’s work and then you ease into it. I think you will have to be fairly blunt, though, guys are dense about romance generally speaking.”

“Excuse me?”

“Let me put it this way Gil; if you knew what to do about all this, would you be here with me now?”

“Point taken.”

“Thank you. Don’t frighten him with your intensity Gil, he’s not a bug, on the other hand you have to be sincere. Are you taking this in?”

“I’m trying. Don’t be blunt but be blunt. Don’t be intense but be sincere.”

“Good. Now the only other thing you must do Gil is – do it quick, asap, while you’ve got the momentum. You’ve got a fifty fifty chance Gil, make it count.”

“Thank you, Catherine. Thank you for being my friend. I know I don’t always say it but you are my best friend.”

“You’re welcome. Gil, have you ever given any thought…to us…you know?”

“No.”

“Nor me.”

“Close shave there for a moment.”

“Yeah…you take care Gil and I really hope, I really do, that this works out for you.”

“Me too.”

Gil picked up the tab and they made their way to their trucks parked nearby. When they reached Gil’s first Catherine pulled him into a hug, he was uncomfortable she could tell, but she persisted and he relaxed a little.

“Keep me in the loop Gil, whatever. Promise?”

“I promise.”

As soon as Gil arrived home he called his doctor and made an appointment for a full medical. He needed one anyway.

Two days later a perfect opportunity arose for Gil to invite Nick to breakfast. Only he didn’t.

They’d had an abduction of a young child but luckily for everyone the child had been found, the abductor arrested and no physical harm had been done to the child. Gil and Nick had stayed behind to tie up the loose ends and it was close to eleven when they were ready to leave.

“Hey Gris, you wanna grab some breakfast…or brunch?”

“Oh.” This had not formed any part of the elaborate plan he’d been formulating, meticulously, for ten minutes at least. “Yes, yes, that would be good.”

“You sure man, you don’t sound very sure?”

“Yes Nick, I’m sure, really.”

“Okay…got a particular place you want to go to?”

“No. Yes. Well.” He was a moron; he was an absolute idiot. “What about Luigi’s?”

“Good choice…but are you okay…if you’d rather not…?”

“Yes, I do, honestly, just got something on my mind.” If you only knew Nicky; when did I start calling him ‘Nicky’ again? Oh, I remember, how could I forget that?

“Okay then, see you there.” And off Nick went, just like that.

Gil, left standing in the locker room, felt the familiar tension in his chest. Catherine had called it anxiety and if this wasn’t because he was ‘anxious’, he really was on his way to an MI.

Twenty minutes later he pulled into the lot beside Luigi’s. An Italian restaurant at night, it did breakfasts and brunches and lunches in the very best American tradition during the daylight hours.

Nick’s truck was in the lot and as he wasn’t in it Gil presumed he’d gone into the restaurant. He had. As Gil walked through the door Nick waved a menu in the air from across the floor. He was in a booth and there was subdued lighting above him. He looked just like his normal self but Gil’s chest tightened even more and his breathing and heart rate quickened. ‘There’s no fool like an old fool’, was his thought as he took several deep breaths and made his way to the booth.

“Hey. I took the liberty of ordering tea – you normally have that at breakfast don’t you? Their specials are on the board behind you, but Lena seriously recommends the ‘Special omelette’…everything in it and served with whatever you want.” 

Gil didn’t think he would ever eat again, Nick was not gay and this was going to be a fiasco. How would he tell Catherine he’d chickened out? Could he do this? Jesus, Nick was grinning at him, his even teeth, his dimpled cheeks and laughter lines and those eyes. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“You’re really out of it man, d’you wanna call it a day?” Nick was still grinning.

“No. It’s just…I’m tired. It’s emotionally draining when children are involved in a case.” Liar, liar. Well it was but this wasn’t anything to do with the case.

“I know what you mean…but in this case Gris we got him back and that’s good because mostly we don’t, do we? We should celebrate a small victory against the bad guys.”

“You’re right, Nicky.” Oh God, it just slipped out.

“Wow, you haven’t called me that for a long time.” Nick’s grin was less teeth and more shining eyes now.

“Sorry.”

“No, it’s good.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Luckily, Lena chose that very moment to deliver the tea. Gil noticed that Nick was having it too.

“You guys ready to order?”

“Special for me please, with all the trimmings. Gris?”

“Toast, please.”

“Right then about ten minutes – that okay?”

“Sure.” Nick said this and Gil nodded.

A soon as she was gone Nick leaned over the table and addressed Gil in a serious manner.

“There’s something not quite right here, Gris. You seem preoccupied…and I’ve seen you thinking over evidence and cases plenty of times but this is like you’re nervous or worried about something. Are you okay – is there anything I can help you with?”

YES! YES! YES! This screaming voice in Gil’s head wouldn’t reach his vocal chords and he looked down at the table.

Nick reached over and put his hand on Gil’s arm – resting on the table – and squeezed. The warmth of Nick’s hand permeated Gil’s skin beneath the jacket he was wearing. He looked at Nick’s hand and took a deep, ragged breath to speak, but Nick beat him to it again.

“This isn’t you, look; Momma always says ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’. I may not be able to help but I can listen, Gris.”

Déjà vu; Catherine had said that. He took another breath. “There is something Nick. It’s someone. I’ve got. There’s someone I’ve got. Feelings. Nick, I’ve got feelings.” No one would’ve ever guessed from this inarticulate display that he was actually a fully functioning adult.

“At work?” Nick enquired.

Gil nodded.

“Sara.” Nick’s hand shot back and he leaned back in his seat with a blank, unreadable expression on his face.

“Sara? Why does everyone think…?”

“…it’s not Sara?” Nick’s voice was incredulous, “Then who?”

Gil took a really big breath and drew himself up, looked across at Nick and then closed his eyes. His voice actually came out sounding perfectly normal.

“You.”

There was silence. After twenty four hours…probably less than two point four seconds in real time, Gil opened his eyes and looked across at Nick. It was Gil’s turn to be shocked. Nick was smiling across at him, not a fully fledged grin, but a sweet, happy smile and his chocolate brown eyes were shining like he might cry. He looked so beautiful Gil gasped. He knew the reality of this; he knew what would happen next.

Their breakfast.

Both men started chuckling, gently, as Lena put their breakfasts in front of them, gave them the dish of sauces and preserves and asked if they wanted anything else. Neither man did. So she left them in peace.

“Don’t think I want this anymore.” Nick said this looking at his huge plate of food.

“I’ve just regained my appetite, come on, we can share.”

“Yeah?”

“We can.”

“How long?”

“’Bout six months, give or take. You?”

“Forever. Day I met you.”

Gil looked at the face across the table from him; open and honest and clearly adoring. How on earth had he missed this; he was a forensic scientist and this evidence had been in front of him all that time.

“I had no idea.”

“You weren’t meant to. I thought you were straight…”

“Ah.”

“What…?”

“Well, I did have one sort of experience when I was at college; it didn’t amount to much but not since then, ‘til you. I don’t know how it happened, I just noticed you one day…God almighty, Catherine!”

“What? What about Catherine?”

“Look let’s get breakfast out of the way…we’ve got years of catching up. Don’t know about you Nicky…‘Nicky’…‘Nicky’, I like that, but we’ve got to sort this out and see where we’re going…that okay with you?”

“Sounds like a plan to me…Gil.”

“I thought I was having a heart attack earlier this week…” At Nick’s startled look Gil held up his hand. “Anxiety over you Nicky, but now I don’t think I’ve ever felt better in my entire life. Are you gay? I take it you know what to do…you know…otherwise I’ll have to stop and get a book; not that I’m going to do anything…oh God. A few minutes ago I couldn’t put a sentence together and now I can’t shut up…this is not me…”

“I think you’re in shock babe, sit back, take a rest, sip your tea and breath evenly, don’t try to breath deeply, just try and relax.” Nick had slid round the booth and was sitting next to Gil. He handed him his tea and brushed his fingers gently over his temple.

“I am gay…mostly, I’ve had some girls but I’ve always been more satisfied with a man and since I met you there haven’t been many of them… Don’t worry, I know exactly what to do, but if you want to get a book, you go ahead. Feeling better now?”

“Yes. You called me ‘babe’.”

“You’ve been ‘babe’ in my head for a long time. I was lucky it didn’t slip out.”

“I desperately want to kiss you…have you kiss me.”

“Yeah. Me too. Won’t be long now…we’ve waited long enough another hour won’t be too bad.”

“I feel okay now.”

“There you go. Lena.” Nick had seen the waitress and called her over. “Could I have the check please?”

“Sure honey – everything okay you’ve hardly touched your food?”

“Yeah…just got a…situation…we need to deal.”

“Okay.” She left to get the check and returned about a minute later. Nick left a sizeable tip and he and Gil stood up to leave.

Gil took a couple of steps away from the booth towards the door and stopped suddenly. He gasped and grabbed at his chest with both hands and fell to the floor…

…Gil fell onto his knees and then bent over looking as if he was trying to make himself as small as possible. He was gasping for breath and between then was trying to speak.

As this scene unfolded with Gil, Nick had shouted, “GIL.” and jumped from the booth, where he’d been just behind Gil. He dropped to the floor on his knees beside Gil and put his arm around Gil’s shoulders and his face close to Gil’s.

“Gil, Gil, look up at me, what’s wrong?”

The ashen face of Gil looked up into face beside him. It was contorted in pain… And as he gasped that was the word he tried to say… “Pain…terrible pain in…my…chest.”

Even as Gil was saying this, Nick’s cell was in his other hand and he was dialling 911. At the prompt answer he said, “I need paramedics, stat, at Luigi’s restaurant on Blake. Male, fifty, suffering severe chest pain but conscious - no previous history and no other health problems…Nick Stokes, I’m with LVPD…thank you M’am. Hang on Gil…they’re on there way.” He whispered the last words to Gil who managed a nod.

“Can you lie down, or sit back Gil; it may make you more comfortable?”

Gil, still gasping his breaths, moved backwards into a more upright position. He then tried to move back a little more but cried out again. “It hurts more.” He slumped forward again.

“Okay then, take it easy, stay as you are and rest, I’ve got you Gil…you’re safe in my arms.” He actually felt Gil relax a little and lean into him. He had been pleased, if that was the right word, he thought, because he’d managed to see more of Gil’s face and Gil was not cyanotic.

Nick’s very first thought had been ‘MI’, and although it seemed likely that it was, Gil had shown no sign of losing consciousness and had no bluish tinge around his mouth. Cyanosis, a dead giveaway for an MI - Nick knew a fair bit about this having done his training as a medic, way back when, in Dallas. He knew that this meant that Gil was getting sufficient oxygen.

Even as Nick sat there with Gil, it seemed Gil’s pain was easing. Nick also knew that that could be his body adjusting to the pain and not it easing. Just then Lena came into view holding a glass half full with a milky coloured liquid.

“Can you get him to drink this, it’s soluble aspirin… my brother had a…”

“That’s real good, Lena, thanks.” Nick took the glass.

“Gil, can you try and get some of this down your neck, man. Aspirin…you know recommended…” Nick didn’t want to actually voice his fears anymore than Lena.

“I can try.” Gil breathed a bit and continued. “Good measure…for heart…attack victims.” Gil took the glass and Nick helped him hold it to his mouth. He took a sip or two and then stopped and grimaced and then took a couple more sips. In, maybe, three minutes he’d managed to drink all of the aspirin. 

“That’s real good Gil.”

“Heart, Nick…seems beating…fast but…strong…not erratic…”

“A self diagnosis, Dr Grissom?” Nick smiled and held Gil closer. 

“Thought…that might be a…good sign…”

“Yeah. Gil you’re not cyanotic and you haven’t lost consciousness or lucidity. Here…” Nick hadn’t actually felt Gil’s pulse – fine medic he turned out to be – but he pushed his first two fingers into Gil’s neck over the carotid point and closed his eyes as he felt the pulse and tried to count the beats. The pulse was fast but it was strong just as Gil had said. By checking his watch and counting the beat he thought there’d been about twenty five in fifteen seconds….giving a likely beat of about one hundred a minute. That wasn’t too bad.

He leaned his head against Gil’s, “You’re going to be okay Gil, I know it and so are we, and I know that too.” He kissed the side of Gil’s head. Their first kiss.

The siren could be heard and it was getting closer, fast. It had been about ten minutes. Now that was good. Within two minutes a young man and woman entered the restaurant, carrying medical supplies including a portable defibrillator. 

Nick gave them a calm and quick run down about what had happened including the aspirin intake and the pain being more intense if Gil moved backwards.

“Okay, thanks, we’ll take over.”

And they did. Nick stood and moved back out of their way. They inserted a port in the back of Gil’s left hand and fitted leads to monitor Gil’s heart beat. They shared a glance when it was seen to be steady and strong at 97 beats. Gil answered all of their questions and listened as they told him that he would have to lie on a gurney to be able to be transported but he could do so sideways and keep his foetal position. Gil nodded, and so did Nick. These guys knew what they were doing.

“Now Gil, we can give you a shot of morphine to help with the pain while we move you, would you be okay with that?”

Gil nodded and looked towards Nick – as if for confirmation. Nick stepped forward and leaned down.

“I think that would be good, although Gil seems much calmer now than he was, he was in a lot of pain and if you start to move him it could destabilise him.”

“Dispatch said you were with LVPD?” The young woman said.

“We both are; Dr Grissom here is a top scientist.” Didn’t hurt to let them know and he was amazed to see a flicker, just a little flicker, of humour in Gil’s eyes.

“We better be extra careful then!” The young man chipped in – a regular double act, but good because that meant they were used to working with each other and knew each other’s ways. The morphine was injected into the port and the paramedic said that he might feel an icy rush as it entered his system.

Gil did. But within a minute he felt a warmth overtake that sensation and the pain subsided to a more manageable level. His tense muscles relaxed somewhat, helping the pain relief. 

The gurney was run alongside Gil and the man said, “I’m going to help you onto your side and lie you down on the floor in the same position you’re in now and then Nicky and I and maybe your colleague will lift you onto the gurney. You okay with that?” He’d noticed an odd, puzzled look on the patient’s face.

Nick butted in, again, “It’s me, it seems the young lady here shares my name, ‘Nick’ and Gil calls me Nicky.”

“Hey, that’s real weird because I’m Nick as well!”

That did cause a chuckle from Nick, trust Gil to be surrounded by ‘Nicky’s’…it was a nice touch. He realised that his earlier panic had calmed considerably. This was going to be…manageable.

The manoeuvre was completed and Gil had groaned a couple of times but the three of them did manage to lift him onto the gurney. He was strapped down, covered and they wheeled him out to the ambulance.

It was only then that Nick noticed that there was a huddle of staff to one side and that the customers were all watching the proceeding…there were only five customers there, Nick noted.

Lena came forward and Nick spoke before she could. ”Thank you for your help, I’m sorry about the…” He gestured towards Gil. “…not what we expected when we came to breakfast. Look I’m leaving my truck…and Gil’s, in the car lot…is that okay? I’ll try and get by later with a friend to collect them.”

A man at the back spoke up, “That’s no problem, we’ve got cameras out there; we’ll keep an eye on them.”

“Thanks, all of you.”

Lena spoke then, “You’ll let us know how he gets on?”

“I will Lena, thank you for your kindness…I gotta go.” Nick had seen Gil was almost in the back of the ambulance and he wanted to be with him.

Nick called to the paramedics. “Hey, wait up, I’m coming with you.”

Nick then got in the back with the young man – Nick. Gil’s dose of morphine had clearly had a very relaxing effect on him. The heart monitor now showed that his rate was eighty-one – that was normal for a lot of the population but he thought Gil’s rate was about seventy, he’d remembered hearing that sometime.

“Gil, I want you to stay awake for me, we’ll be about twenty minutes getting to the Desert; can you do that?”

“No…very tired…up all night…wanna sleep.”

“He’s been up all night?” This question was directed at Nick.

“Yeah we both have, working the abduction case, you hear about it?”

“You got the kid back…good work.”

“Gil. He’s the boss. But it’s a strain on everyone when there’s a child involved.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay; Gil you can sleep a bit, we’ll keep an eye on you…don’t think he’s listening.”

Gil was asleep, the pain etched on his face had eased and his breathing was even and seemed normal. He had on an oxygen mask as a matter of course, but the monitor showed that his heart had slowed to a steady, strong rhythm of sixty nine. He looked like a guy asleep. 

At the hospital they got him into a cubicle without him waking properly and his vital signs remained very stable. The two doctors waiting to receive a critical MI patient seemed somewhat bewildered. But they ordered a round of tests and hooked Gil up to a regular monitor which now showed a rate of sixty eight. His BP was 114/68; his temperature was .6 above normal. 

The doctors quizzed Nick about what had happened and Nick, being thorough, mentioned every little thing. The bit about the pain being worse when Nick had tried to get Gil to lie back caused both doctors to smile.

“What is it?” Nick enquired.

“Well, we’re running blood tests to confirm and we’ll do a CT or MRI – you know about those?” At Nick’s nod he continued. “Thought so, well although the signs do overlap and we can’t afford to second guess the bloods, based on the information you’ve given and the current stability of…” He looked down at his notes. “...Dr Grissom, I’d say he has a nasty bout of Pericarditis. You heard of that?”

“Inflammation of the pericardium.”

“Yup…wish all the relatives knew what we were taking about. Look, we’ll wait for the blood enzymes, before committing ourselves…but…you know.”

“Thank you. I thought he was going to die there and then I can tell you. But then you know apart from the bad pain it didn’t seem like it was…”

“Actually, should we be telling you this, are you a relative, are you his proxy?”

“No, not yet, but believe me when I say that I will be…” Nick laughed. 

As the doctor predicted the results came back negative for a heart attack. The white cell count was slightly elevated but within a normal range. The doctor need to speak to Gil and would have to wake him. Nick was sitting with him and looked as if he could do with joining the sick man in a bit of shut eye. It was three in the afternoon and he understood they’d both worked overnight.

“I need to wake Dr Grissom to give him the results of the tests and tell him what we intend to do, I’ll have to ask him if he wants you to leave, you do understand that?”

“Yeah, but there ain’t no way I’m goin’ to.”

“Fair enough, let’s see what he says.” He shook Gil gently and then more vigorously and then combined that with calling his name. His steady state heart rate at sixty four started to climb and then spiked as Gil did became more or less conscious.

“Oh, God…can’t you leave me in peace?”

“No Sir, Dr Grissom, got results and I think you need to hear ‘em. Do you want your…this young man, to leave?”

Gil looked at Nick and immediately interpreted the look he got back as ‘don’t even think it’.

“No, I’d like him to stay.” The smile he got in return for those words was wonderful.

“Okay…here we go. You have not had a heart attack…all the standard tests for that have come back negative. Your symptoms were also a massive clue for us, but what you do have, we believe…”

Both Nick and Gil thought the same thing…’hurry up and get to the point’.

“…is Pericarditis. Inflammation of the pericardium – the sac around the heart. Now we might have found infection; your white blood count indication is within the higher range of normal, and your temperature is very slightly raised. We are going to schedule an MRI for later just to take a look at your heart, see if there’s anything going on that we should know about. But I must tell you that quite often there is no discernable reason for an attack. 

“Now treatment: we have you on a saline drip to keep you hydrated and that is very nicely mixed with a steady stream of morphine – not the highest dose, but it should keep you comfortable for the rest of the day. We’ll wean you off within twelve hours to see how the pain is and the regime will be Ibuprofen for the pain, and it’s also an anti-inflammatory. And, as a precaution, a course of antibiotics. Now I like penicillin – tried and tested unless you have a reaction…to either drug actually?”

“Not that I’m aware of…I can’t remember the last time I had either drug.” Gil seemed very attentive and although he looked dead beat, to Nick, he did seem to have recovered from the attack in the restaurant.

“That’s good, we can give you doses before you leave and see how you take to them.”

“When can I leave?”

“Hold your horses, I’m getting to that bit. If the MRI looks good and you don’t have a reaction to the two drugs, you should be able to go home in the morning.”

Nick was impressed with that pronouncement.

“But only under some strict conditions.” The doctor noticed his patient’s raised eyebrows at what he was sure would be unacceptable measures.

“There’s no room for manoeuvre here; failure to comply could get you back in hospital…or worse. Do you understand?”

“Yes, he does.” Nick replied. He knew that Gil would be a wilful and recalcitrant patient.

“I need you to understand that you can fully recover from this episode and never be troubled again if you take all the drugs we prescribe AND, and this is the most important bit of the whole lot, you rest. I’m talking lying in bed rest; I’m talking lying on the couch rest. I’m not talking about being on your cell, reading files, e-mailing or ANY OTHER activity whatsoever. Pericarditis responds - like no other illness - to REST!” 

Gil was looking at the doctor as if he’d just said he was going to extract his brain through his nostrils and put it in a specimen jar. He opened his mouth but Nick spoke first.

“Doc, if it kills ME, and I have to tell you it may well do, I can assure you that he WILL do as you say. We’re both in forensics - we know how to hide dead bodies – if either of us goes missing, contact the PD.”

The doctor laughed. “You need to keep this young man around, something tells me he’s marked your card. In all seriousness, rest will be the difference between a full recovery and a mediocre one….you understand?”

“I understand.”

“Good. I’m going to sort out your MRI and a proper room for the night. Get some rest.” He grinned as he saw Gil’s evil look at him. This man would be a difficult patient but he’ll be okay with his…boyfriend? He left the room.

“Nick, what have you got in mind here?”

“Looking after you, man.”

“You can’t do it and I won’t let you; it’s ludicrous and I’m not going to be a burden to you or anyone else. Now you go and…” 

“…no. Just a short time ago you said you had feelings…”

“…that was before all this, Nick. I can’t have you look after an old, sick man…”

“…you’re not old, and you’re sick now but like the doctor said you’re going to make a full recovery.”

“Read between the lines Nick. I could end up an invalid and…I can’t…I can’t…” Gil suddenly went weak. His chest pain was making its presence known again and he wanted Nick…no, he didn’t want Nick. He couldn’t have Nick…not now.

“Please go, please.”

“No. I’ve waited eight years thinking you were straight, wanting you and being sick; oh, yes Gil, I’ve been sick too, desperate to have something so near and yet so far. Jeez, it sounds like dialogue in a bad film but I ain’t letting go now, not after getting so close. You need someone to look after you starting tomorrow. I can move into your place, if you haven’t got a spare bed I can use the couch but I. AM. GOING. TO. DO. IT. There ain’t no room for manoeuvre, like the doc said.”

“Nick.” Gil sounded very weak and tired. “I can’t let you do this.”

“You don’t have a say in it.”

“I can’t let you ruin…”

“…shut up, man, you’re a whinger. It doesn’t matter what you say. I am taking you home from here tomorrow and staying with you. One thing’s for sure we’re going to get to know each other real well.”

“You may not like what you find.”

“Likewise.”

“You’re an idiot, you haven’t thought it out.”

“On the contrary, Gil. You home, me staying with you looking after you. If you haven’t already got one we’ll get a cleaner in to help out, so I can work and look after you. If, and I suspect it will be the case, you try to work while you’re alone, I’ll employ a nurse to be with you. In fact, I bet our insurance’ll cover that.”

“When did you come up with all this?”

“On the hoof, Gil. I’m not the pushover a lot of the guys think. I’m laid back and I let things roll, but I’ve got a Stokes stubborn streak wider than the Strip and believe me after living with MY family, you’ll be a pussy cat!

Gil looked horrified. What on earth had he done? Fallen for an axe murderer?

“I’m too tired to argue, but this isn’t over yet.” Gil’s response was quiet but challenging.

“Yes; it is. Now go to sleep, because I’ve got a lot a stuff to take care of, but I’m not leaving the hospital so I won’t be far away – if you need me.” Nick took the opportunity to kiss Gil for the second time. This time a soft but sure kiss to his lips. For a moment Nick felt Gil respond. “You see man, you do still want me.” He whispered this to an almost asleep Gil and then pressed another kiss to his forehead. He could get used to this.

Nick decided work was his number one priority, followed by their short-term future living arrangements, their trucks and he’d check out just what their medical insurance did cover. He wouldn’t be able to have more than a couple of days off work at the most, with the shift being two down, without him and Gil. 

He called Ecklie and was lucky enough to find him in – he was usually at a ‘meeting’. He explained what had happened and the short term consequences. To Nick’s amazement, Ecklie agreed that Nick ‘should’, not ‘could’ take three days off. He’d send a car and a spare driver to the hospital to get the keys and then have them bring Nick’s truck to the hospital and take Gil’s truck to his home.

It turned out that Ecklie’s brother had had Pericarditis and made a full recovery but it had taken him some months. That was encouraging…the recovery; possible months of rest would be very challenging for Grissom. 

Nick then got hold of the Medical Insurers – they all had the plastic cards in their wallets. Gil’s level of coverage was nearly top of the range. So it was ‘very likely’ given the circumstances that he would qualify for home nursing, providing it was backed with a doctor’s recommendation. No problem.

Nick then thought about what he’d do. Stay with Gil until he’d had his MRI and was settled in a room. Go to his own home and catch a few…then pack some stuff and head over to Gil’s place, see what the lie of the land was like. He’d only been there twice, he thought. He may need food, or whatever. Get Gil home. Settle him and prepare for battle. He was under no illusion - this was going to get ugly.

He’d called Catherine and ‘Rick before their next shift was due. Gil was going to tell him something about Catherine; what that was, he had no idea.

Nick went back into Gil’s ER side room. He was still sleeping and he looked peaceful. So much had happened in, what, six hours. Nick could hardly take it in; but Gil was right about one thing. Being thrown together like this could tear them apart before they even got together…on the other hand it could cement a relationship for life. That second option was his aim. Whatever; Nick wanted Gil and now that he was in sight of the home plate, he wouldn’t be deflected. He’d fought battles with his parents that would make Gil’s arguments pale into insignificance.

He looked around for Gil’s personal stuff and found it in a locker by the side of the gurney. He took Gil’s wallet and truck keys. He sat down by Gil’s side and closed his eyes…the next thing a nurse was shaking him awake.

“There’s a police officer outside, he wants to see you.”

“Thanks.” He stretched and his back and his neck and his legs and…everywhere really, complained. But he got up, looked at the still sleeping Gil, and left the room. 

The officer was a guy called Andy; he knew him reasonably well. He explained where the trucks were. Andy said he’d take Gil’s home first so he could bring the keys back to Nick and then bring Nick’s to the hospital. Ecklie had given him Gil’s address. Nick also asked Andy to go into Luigi’s and ask for Lena, and tell her everything was okay. If she wasn’t there to leave a message. It was all settled and just as Andy was leaving he asked if, on his return, he’d bring in some take out for him; he was starving. No problem; so Nick gave him a twenty, although Andy was reluctant to take it.

Two hours later, Nick had a complimentary pizza from Luigi’s, both sets of truck keys, his truck outside in the ’police vehicles only’ spot and his twenty back. Lena had gone home but the staff all knew about the ‘situation’ and would pass on the message. 

Nick took the pizza back into the room with Gil. A nurse was checking his vitals and had left Gil sleeping; she then left them alone again and Nick settled back to in the chair to eat his breakfast, lunch and now dinner rolled into one. He’d managed two slices when Gil stirred and was trying to drag himself into wakefulness.

“Hey, how you doing’”

“Tired…hungry…are you eating?”

“Pizza, compliments of Luigi’s.”

“Good?”

“Real.”

“Mmmm.”

“Shall I see if you can have some?”

“Do you think they’ll let me?” 

“Don’t ask, don’t know.” Nick left Gil and went in search of the nurse. She was at the station and luckily, so was the doctor. Having established that it would not harm the MRI and if he was hungry that was good sign, Nick returned to Gil. 

“Pizza delivery, Sir?”

“I can have some?”

“One slice.”

“You’re like a stranger to me Nick…no, that didn’t come out right…it’s like I know you really well and then don’t know you at all…I’ve never seen you like this.”

“Don’t worry…it’s like there’re too many egos at work so unless I got something I need to say I let ‘em roll with it. Don’t need us butting heads for no reason.”

“You seem to have matured…you were always so young and I needed to take care of you…”

“…that what you thought? Man. I’ve had serious shit happen to me…and I’ve lost it a few times but what does that get you…an ulcer, a reputation? Not worth it.”

“No.”

“Pizza okay?”

“I’ll probably only manage the one slice, not as hungry as I thought.”

“No harm, it won’t hurt you. Hey, good news about your heart. And I’m going to take real good care of it I can tell you.” Nick laughed at Gil’s shocked look.

He continued, although Gil was staring at him as though he had two heads. “I need you to appoint me as your medical proxy – it’ll save on problems in the future – and then when you’ve had your MRI and have settled in a room I’m going to go home catch some zzz’s and then get over to your place to dump my stuff and see if I have to do anything. The Medisure will fund a nurse, we’ll get a maid in and then, Dr Grissom, you will be looked after by me. Ecklie’s given me three days off to get you settled.” He grinned at the stunned look.

“But, you…”

“…yes, I can. All taken care of. Have you got enough food for a couple of days?”

“You can’t do all this for me…we don’t know each other.”

“Errr…do you mean in the ‘biblical sense’ there Gil, because we’ve known each other for…eight years, give or take.”

“Bib…Nick I can’t…”

“Well, if I remember rightly you were all for buying a book just before all this shit…”

“…you can’t do this I won’t let you.” Gil’s monitor now started to bleep a little faster.

“Stop it, now. Gil, calm down. Look if this doesn’t work out we’ll know fairly soon but in the meantime have you got anyone to look after you…you haven’t, have you? Unless, of course, you want Sara or Catherine helping you to the john.”

Gil was aghast. He lay back and wished he hadn’t eaten the pizza slice, but Nick did have a point, perhaps he’d let Nick help him for a few days and then when he felt more able he’d get proper help and abandon this ridiculous idea. 

“Now I know exactly what you’re thinking…put up with me until you’re stronger and then send me home…well I might need to go home if I get murderous thoughts…but I think that’s unlikely.”

“How did you…?”

“…I’ve studied you, man, day…or night after night. I know how you work and think and I’m prepared. Hey, I’m going to ask the doc how long we have to lay off sex…healthy sex aids recovery you know.”

“Nick Stokes? Are you Nick Stokes?”

“Yeah, that’s me…not the CSI but the Texan guy with one elder brother and FIVE elder sisters and parents that ran our home like a military operation…I learned from the best…you don’t stand a chance; give in gracefully.”

Gil sighed a very heavy sigh and suddenly remembered doing the same thing in the Grand Canyon…was that only three days ago. “Don’t think I’d better get the book just yet, I’ve got to think of my blood pressure.”

Nick leaned over Gil and with a very broad grin proceeded to kiss Gil properly and thoroughly. The heart monitor went haywire and even before Nick could tear himself away from the lips of the man he’d loved since the day he’d started work in Vegas, the doctor and nurse dashed through the door.

“Oh, come on guys, give us a break, we’re busy here and can do without any nasty shocks!”

Both Nick and Gil tried to give him contrite looks and both murmured. ”Sorry.”

“Yeah, I can tell.”

The End


End file.
